Gottman MethodsCreating the Foundation for a Healthy Relationship
The Gottman Method is a form of couple’s therapy created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. The method begins with an assessment to determine the strengths and challenges within the relationship, then once the therapist and the couple decide on the frequency and duration of the sessions, the intervention begins.
At the foundation of the method is the Sound House Relationship Theory. There are nine components:
Build Love Maps
Getting to know one another’s hopes, dreams, and innermost thoughts.
Share Fondness & Admiration
Expressing gratitude and appreciation for one another.
Turn Towards Instead of Away
Letting your partner know what you need and being receptive to their needs.
The Positive Perspective
Approaching conflict with a positive attitude.
Manage Conflict
Recognizing that managing is different than resolving. Not everything can be resolved.
Make Life Dreams Come True
Creating a safe space where each person is able to feel comfortable being vulnerable sharing their ideas, values, and aspirations.
Create Shared Meaning
Understanding and cultivating a shared vision of the relationship.
Trust
Knowing that choices will be made that are in the best interest of both parties.
Commitment
Believing that your relationship with one another is a lifelong journey, which requires a generosity of spirit toward one another.
The first seven components are deeply reliant upon the last two. Working through each of these components is meant to improve the friendship, deepen the emotional connection, and strengthen a couple’s bond.
References:
The Gottman Method on gottman.com
The Gottman Method on psychologytoday.com
Making Marriage Work on The Gottman Institute channel on Youtube.